Home

My trip back home was interesting. Since the million steps down and the 999999 steps back up from the white water rafting experience, my legs stopped working and the pain stopped my knees from behaving normally. The outcome of this was I was walking like I had cerebral palsy or spina bifida - not an act, I just couldn't bend my knees and often found myself falling over nothing standing still. Taking steps up or down was excruciating - I no longer have the knees of the woman I was - I now have the knees of a much older sicker person.

I was very interested to notice how I was treated by the Garuda staff and other travelers. People still pushed past me - walked in front of me causing me to suddenly stop and grip the wall. The flight staff talked to me like I was an idiot. So I thought that was interesting.

The flight was torture.... just as I would fall asleep, literally just fell off to sleep, BEEP BEEP, some crazy person called the airline stewards and the lights would blaze down - and everytime it happened I said "Whaaa??!" This may have been an incentive.

Then my least favourite thing in the world to do... waiting for my bags to come off the plane. I hate that.
Of course the facial recognition software at customs never recognizes me, so there was lots of standing... then..... because I filled in my customs card with care and declared my wooden stuff, the guy says "no I don't want to look at it, just tell me".

Then he wanted to look at my shoes. (?)

Then I was free to go home at last.

Daph has not left my side since I got back.

She just keep purring.

Great to be home - I think the 12 days was slightly too long. But I'm still keen to go over seas next year - but I might need to give Bali a break. USA or Europe? Let's see if I can get the $$$ together.

Signing off
Vic Farrell's obsession with Bali is now terminated.

Counting down

Another 30 mins and I call a taxi to take me to the airport.

My flight is at 11.50pm

Then another 6 hours and I'll see my schnookie.

Can't wait!

Gun shots

Well, today is my last day and I can't wait to get home. I'm finally over the " you want taxi, yes please?" and... "excuse me yes please see my shopping" and "you want massage?" and proceeds to massage me after I told her to, quite clearly, GO AWAY!

Most of the stores have the same garbage in them... Bintang teeshirts, penis shaped bottle openers, crappy watches and lighters and old bottles of perfume.

I think you could make a lot of money selling teeshirts with "No! I don't want a taxi" or "No! I don't want to buy your crappy stuff", written on them in Indonesian.

I have also learnt a lot about elephants. Their feces is the size of coconuts and sound like gun shots when they hit the ground.

Why my legs really hurt.

To start with, I had a foot massage last night due to long walks on the beach and shopping. The massage has resulted in bruises today.

Then I went white water rafting... after taking about 5 million stairs down to the river. I discovered a muscle in my thigh I didn't know I had.

At one point we jumped out of the raft to have a swim, which was great... except... when I jumped in, I was expecting the water to be about waist height since everyone was standing around in it up to their waists.

The spot I jumped into was about 2 metres deep and I disappeared under the water, glasses and all. The ID bracelet they gave me to access my locker floated off down the river.

Then after about 2 hours of enjoying the rapids we had to walk up MORE STAIRS!!!!

Not as many stairs as I walked down (so they tell me) but I reckon is was about 4,999, 999! I  was so slow and looked like I was having a heart attack climbing the stairs. My legs were like jelly. BUT the biggest shame to me was the little old lady who was about 100 years old had to climb all the stairs (everyday, supposedly) with the entire deflated raft ON HER HEAD!!!!

Yeah, so that was embarrising.

Then after we had a shower and got changed we went to the Elephant reserve. I was worried that it might be a bit depressing seeing elephants used as a tourist gimmick, but I was pleasantly surprised. The mahout were so caring and gentle and the elephants seemed really happy and healthy. The recently had 4 babies.. so that's a good sign.

Below are some photos of me with Mona. Mona's mahout is not very good with the camera phone but you can see it's me.

Mona likes noms.

Then we all went on a ride around the park - took about 15 minutes, but the old girls like to stop every now and then for snacks.

Then dinner under the stars and now I'm back in Kuta in my hotel bed looking forward to zzzz.

Luwak Coffee

I like coffee. But the acclaimed 'most expensive coffee in the world'  - luwak coffee, is quite simply awful.

It looks and tastes like diarrhea.  It has things floating in it!!! And beads of oil... ergh!

But I LOVE the luwak. Can you see these these goregous little creatures anywhere?

Nope. They had 2 cranky ones in a cage at a coffee plantation which I wasn't allowed to pat due to the likelihood of them taking one of my fingers off.

Last year I met a luwak on Kuta beach. It was a Lombok mongoose and a pet on a leash. everyone was wanting a pat. It was a schnookie! And I wants one!

Here is a picture of one:

Little fella!

No Bees

Had a good sleep in this morning. But once I stept out of my room there was a cleaner guy saying "hello, hello, clean your room"... crikey was he just standing there waiting the whole time?

The breakfast fair has not changed from last year mi goreng and banana pancakes. Sad to see the bees are no longer hanging around the pineapple jam.

Gili Bum & Road Kill

You have heard of Bali Belly - I have Gili Bum: diarrhea and sore pelvis from riding a push bike along roads carefully carved into undulating bumps and holes to maximise bum impact  on bike seat.

I blame the horses. It's their hooves that dig up the sand on the roads.

Another thing I noticed while in Bali and Gili, there are no dead animals along the side of the roads. I told my taxi drivers that in Australia "road kill" is common everywhere - but not here.

Because, I believe, Indonesian drivers are very careful (Hati Hati) and generous. Australians just mow everything down in front of them.

In Tasmania we saw lots of dead things on the side of the road, and heart-breakingly I saw a quoll! Never seen on in the wild. Only dead on the side of the road.

Civilization

When I got off the 'fast boat' at Padung Bai all the taxi drivers and locals with snacks to dell gathered at the dock to meet us... which was not the most practical set up... the jetty was so crowded someone wad nearly pushed into the water (not me this time).

After 9 days of eating healthy food (mainly because nothing else was available) I figured... what the hey... I'll have pringles - the nerd snack.

h http://io9.gizmodo.com/5851487/how-are-pringles-made

Small child came to mind.

Sock

Question: where is the other sock?

Answer: off the north west shore of Lombok.

Don't book ahead!

The lesson I learned on these holidays was... 'Don't book ahead'. The hotel that was booked was nothing like the photos and the trip back to Bali from Gili was impossibly difficult to find. It would have been easier to wing it and find the ticket once I needed it.

This morning I got up early to be at the dock at 9am. After going all over the place looking for the company who I had bought the ticket from... turned out that it was the SAME GUY I was talking to yesterday when I was pushed off the bike by the horse.

The email I got back from them company was "come down at 9am"

But when I did... I discovered that I was two and a half hours too early! 

Stitch Up!

Yep. I have had to take 3 extra taxi rides today.... back to hotel and back to dock.

That horse knew EXACTLY what it was doing.

*voice of horse*

"She's about to find out where to catch the boat back to Bali, quick, knock her off her bike, keep her in a constant state of perplexity.  She'll have ride back and forth all morning."

As long as it spends its extra money on healthy stuff and not blow it all on sugar lumps.

Bike Accident

So I came off my bike today. I was standing still talking to a guy about my ferry trip to tomorrow back to Kuta, when I was pushed over by a horse.

Yep.

I got pushed over by a horse.

Everyone came running to help me.... OMG middle aged woman trampled by horse..... and I was on the ground laughing.

The only accident I have had on holiday (so far) was ludicrous.... and harmless.

In other news: I tried to photograph the preying mantis on my bath gel but it was hard to get his best side.... he kept rubbing his face.

I did get a picture of the resident kitty cat here who made himself at home on my lap.

Bikes, paints, sleepy kayak owners and waiters.

Woke at 4am as usual... stupid samsung phone thought it was 6am... it KNOWS what time it is here.

Anyway, got up and hired a bike... breakfast was a while away and i figured a paddle before breakfast... no sign of kayak man. So at 8am i go have french toast for breaky on the beach and head over to kayak man again.... no sign of him!

So i decided to keep riding.... except for a few metres having to push the bike along a rock wall on the outside of a resort while waves crash over you, it is possible to ride around the whole island in an hour.

Got back very hot... jumped in the pool.

How awesome is that?!

Did a painting which attracted the interest of all the cute waiters.

Cats on the Beach!

My two favourite things together at last!

Check out this site: Cats of Gili

Imodium

Well, it's my first time off Bali and I am experiencing my first diarrhea. I have only eaten at the very classy restaurant attached to my hotel: The Pearl of Trawangan. I did have some ginger tea at the spa but that shouldn't be a problem... what about that pina colada??? hmmm....

My legs are covered in raised red spots.

Who knows what it is.

Once the sun went down, pussy cats emerged miaoing all over the place. Adorable - but no one pats them or anything. When you give them a pat they purr and just love the attention - so affectionate.
Don't worry - I used the hand sanitisor after each pat - I'm not an idiot.

I went to the spa and had a 'salt scrub' - where they rub salt ALL over you. It was an abrasive experience. Then a massage. It was pretty good. An amazing view of the mountains of Lombok through the window.

This place is VERY touristy. After a week in Amed, I feel like I'm in down town New York City - actually more of a European city since most of the tourists are speaking German/French/other Euro accented English.

Tomorrow I'm hiring a push bike and a sea kayak  - I'm gonna be like Lyle Lovette only with a bike on a kayak instead of a pony and a boat.

Now I'm stuck listening Lyle Lovett songs on You Tube.... this is gonna take a while.

Pearl of Trawagan

Really nice spot. No motorbikes allowed.

Open bathroom.

Amazing restaurant on the beach.

Gili Trawagan

Made it on the fast boat to Gili islsnds off Lombok. The boat was very fast, I thought it would take hours but I'm here before lunch.... and starving.

The boat wasn't unsafe at all, but the boat company logo is a fish wearing a snorkle. Hmmmm....

There was an amazing view of Mt Agung from off shore where the clouds curled around it just like the Indonesian illustrations.

If you do plan to go by fast boat... wear bare legs and feet. Getting on and off involves walking in knee deep water and catching you luggage as it is passed/chucked down to you.

Usually when I get off one form of transport I am bombarded with taxi offers. But there I was on the beach with all my luggage standing in wet pants and shoes.

Dragged everything through a wurang and got on a taxi pulled by a pony. Poor little guy.

Michael Buble

I have heard this song at least 4 times every day for a week.

I never want to hear it ever again.

more painting

This is the fountain that pours into the pool. It was very relaxing to do, although the staff in the restaurant weren't  too happy about me sitting there when they wanted
to sweep the floor again.

JJ

Slept in

Woke up round 4am but thought... nope. I'm not going onto the beach in the dark, despite being wide awake - so I turned on Netfix and actually had a lie in.... until...

"knock knock... sorry... knock knock.... so sorry"

My laundry returned to me at 8am, apologetically.

By 8am it is too hot to be out in the sun - so I might have to be quick and use the 20 mins between the sun falling behind the trees and intense darkness if I am going to do some stone balancing today.

Wow, I've turned into a Victorian - I've become so used to long twilights.

Today I bought some bleach for the toilet because... bloody hell... the bathroom SMELLS!

Tomorrow is my last day in Amed. On the 27th I get on a "fast boat" and go to Gili Trawangan, then back to Kuta to my first hotel I stayed at last year: Bakung Sari - my favourite!

Paintings

Not particularly spectacular but fun to do.

Routine

I have a routine now.

Wake up before dawn.
Drink the can of iced coffee I bought the night before.
Go to the beach and build some stone balance towers before the locals see me and think I'm nuts.
Do some Yoga/Tai Chi moves.
Read
Eat Breakfast
Jump in the pool for a swim
Lie next to the pool and read till I'm dry
Go back to bungalow and draw/write/paint
Eat lunch
Jump in the pool for a swim
Lie next to the pool and read till I'm dry or until children annoy me enough to want to commit murder
Go back to bungalow and read/nap
Eat Dinner
Jump in the pool for a swim
Lie next to the pool and read till 7pm because the pool gets shut down at 7pm and the sun is gone.
Go to the shop across the street and buy a packet of purple sweet potato chips and a can of iced coffee.
Go back to bungalow and watch Netfix and eat purple sweet potato chips.

Yep. and tomorrow I'll do it all again.

That's my idea of a holiday!

Day 4 Relaxation Level Unlocked

Apart from spending the day seeing all of the north east corner of Bali and spending four hours shopping, yesterday I had a bit of an existential crisis and my mood plummeted.

This morning I'm feeling much better... with no plans but sitting about reading, swimming, painting and napping.... maybe a massage later... I feel I can stare blissfully into the middle distance and think about.... nothing.

But of course, the all important stage to enlightenment is to blog about the journey.

Ommmm......

Fingers

Frangipani fingers reach to the sky with peace signs.

Pre Dawn activity

I wake up early long before breakfast is ready, so this morning I built these.

 

  

Relaxation

Sometimes it's hard to shift a negative mood.  My realisation on arrival that the hotel was not up to scratch set me off, I think. And then seeing that video of a drugged lion for tourists to pose eith makes me reconsider my safari bookibg on Sunday...... my driver today drove all day for ~$80 and will work all night as a security guard. He slept while I was shopping.
Why do I have so much and these oeople so little. It's not fair and I find knowing this affects the luxury of my hotel experience.
Everything I order they say "please enjoy your drink". But will I? Do I really find joy in the diversity of my diet?
The driver I hired has "only one menu- fish and rice everyday".
3 bintangs.
I am feeling more relaxed.
But guilty. 

Even more so when I read on fb that friends are suffering from depression and I am hopeless to help them.

Not sure how to feel.... another bintang sets the mood while a gekko sings in the night.

Not a bat

This is a photo taken seconds before the little guy responsible for piles of bat crap on my verander,  zipped out to avoid the  paparazzi.

Evidence

See. Kitties on the roof!

Plans for tomorrow.... Ubud

I've hired a driver (because I'm not an idiot) to take me to Ubud tomorrow for some kulcha!

I've decided to head to the Monkey Forest for a spot of "naww what a cutiepie.. schnookieeee argh... argh... he's eaten my finger" and a walk about the arts district and visit a few museums and do a spot of shopping.

Here's the plan!

It will be nice to just sit and see the country side go past for a couple of hours.

Now, it's time for.... more reading followed by naps.

What I'm reading right now: The Republic of the Imagination by Azar Nafisi

It is just lovely! I can't wait to read : "Reading Lolita in Tehran"

So where on earth am I?

If you see the drawn circle to the top right of the Bali chicken you will see the road loop I took today on my 2 wheeled steed of death.

And that was enough motor cycling for me for one lifetime.

Post nap dinner at sunset

I think the hotel read my last blog post. Michael Buble has been replaced with Indonesian pop. The current song sounds like "I'm horny, horny horny".

It's sunset so therefore I'm eating dinner. Tonight it is Gado Gado.

The sound of Bali

This is some music my friend Francis (and total Java-phile) created.

https://soundcloud.com/frankenflute/ratna-1

He makes his own bamboo flutes and gamalan etc.

What I find rather amusing here is that.... the moment you step into restaurant/store/whatever.... the previous silence is hurriedly filled with gamelan recordings. ... like .... yeah, we listen to this stuff all the time.... not.

Second swim for the day

What's the temperature in Melbourne today?

While I still have arms and legs

Handed over the keys of the bike and said... "yes, very fun, but I don't want to die, thank you".

Drove up the road to get lunch elsewhere and had lempung- fish and coconut deep fried with chilli and vegies.

So yum.

Waiting for my room to be cleaned.

Wow. I have nothing but napping, reading and swimming to do.

This takes some getting used to.

I'm learning to walk slowly like the locals. Still not happy with the large german/swedish family (found out later they were Hungarian) making a racket round the pool every time I try and relax.

Bit sick of Michael Buble too.

Focus on the good stuff.... this orange juice is AMAZING and the breeze is just lovely.

Ok... hopefully they have cleaned my room and I can re-mount the steed of death in search of lunch.

Did I mention little children laughed at my driving? Yep, it's just like school. Oh, and no child goes to school here it seems. They just hang out. Saw a few kids in uniform on their death bikes earlier this morning. No helmets. Just a wing and a prayer.

Children know the English for "good luck" and "be careful".

:)

Still have all arms and legs.

All skin still intact.

Spent 3 hours riding the bike around rural Bali over the worst roads you've ever seen.

First I have say that riding a bike in Bali is EXTREMELY DANGEROUS! DO NOT DO IT!!!!

I found it very difficult to master and I still cant go around corners yet without wobbling and accidentally accelerating into oncoming traffic. Luckily very few vehicles on the road up here in Amed, but lots of chickens and dogs and children.

Nearly stacked it when a large green spider crawled across my face. But then again, 'nearly stacking it' was just my modus operandi all day.

Having a break for a swim and then back on the bike to give Bali another chance to kill me.

Photos of evidence below.

Ok..... I'm gunna do it.

I've hired a bike to ride around on tomorrow.

The next photos you get to see may well be of a cast and a sling.

Wish me luck.

The gorgeous restaurant and pool area

Right on the beach.

Pity the beach is made of black volcanic rocks.

Some photos of my island paradise hotel.

View from my bungalow.

First Day. Trying to relax.

It's not easy, relaxation.

Sure. Swim in the pool. Eat yummy food. Have nap. Read a book.

Still, I can feel that nagging "is this all you're gonna do today?"

But it's been lovely. I purposely stayed in at the hotel to ensure maximum relaxation potential can be attained.

Before breakfast there were kittens on the roof. Fair dinkum! So cute.

While eating breakfast the chef walked back through the restaurant from the beach with five silver fish.  I asked him if he caught them but he said he bought them from the fishermen.

Mental note: order the fish!

Today I did a couple of poor drawings and a watercolour. And built my first rock towers.  Always wanted to do that!

Arrival at long last

The aircraft left an hour and a half late. Tried to sleep but Garuda prides itself in force feeding its passengers.

Arrived and had to wait at the baggage pick up - it's my least favourite thing in world.

The drive to Amed was over 3 hours long.  Got a good look at the entire east coast of bali.

Arrived at hotel. DISAPPOINTED! Nothing like the photos... should have smelt a rat when I couldn't get their email or phone.

Popped next door and saw the hotel was exactly what I wanted... so I moved.

Now I'm exhausted and full of bintang.

To the airport

The world's best taxi driver picked me up at 6am. He remembered me from my trip up north in 2014 to meet my brother John for the first time.

Then border security kept my bag and searched it coz... I had tubes of gauche paint. I thought they had a problem with the paint brushes, but it was the paint. It was watercolour based paint, apparently oil based paint is more potentially dangerous.

But all good!

Here I am waiting at my gate for a 4 hour flight in a middle seat..... sigh. Might take a kwells and zonk out.

In bed. Can't sleep.

See title.

Packed

Predominantly pink, orange and turquoise.

One more sleep!

Today's observations:

1. It is the day before I go to Bali.
2. I needed a haircut
3. Fiona is a wonderful cat sitter!
4. Daph is fat.
5. There is no such thing as 'pulled chicken' (more about this later)
6. Everyone is going to Bali tomorrow (The lady in the Chemist was telling everyone she was going to Bali tomorrow - but then again, I told everyone I met at the hairdressers I was going to Bali tomorrow.)
7. Bali may be full of Melbournites tomorrow.
8. It's cold
9. I have horrible hair
10. No one knows how to cut curly hair. If you know someone who does - give me their number.

Now, onto the 'Pulled Chicken'.

The latest craze in Melbourne is 'pulled' everything; pulled pork, pulled beef, pulled lamb. Presumably it means the meat is slow cooked until it pulls easily off the bone.

So there I was at cafe in Greensborough Plaza thinking "Hmmm... that calzone looks good, but I'm not sure about the title 'Pulled Chicken'. My experience of chicken is that you cook it and it falls off the bone within about 30 mins anything beyond that is just creating extra greenhouse gasses. So I thought... this is a lot bollocks... but it still looked yum. I asked for the chicken calzone because I couldn't bring myself to say 'pulled chicken'. The guy said, "the PULLED chicken?" I said, "Yeah, that one." Pointing.

Pulled chicken.
Pshaw!

Home again!

And the Sun is out and so is Daph!

Dinner with artists.

Dan made the lovely lamp Max purchased in the photo below.

We had a beautiful roast dinner and the topics of conversation included:

Tarraleah is a Tasmanian town for sale.... we discussed whether we can afford the 8 million AU$.

Dead animals from the recent flood.

Cats.

Sunday roast and feeding those who have been affected by the flood.

The shooting in Florida.

Max went to pick up a trailer so she can take home a couch she bought from a "french woman".

Bali.

Cats (Mac in particular the dark chap on the couch below)

Water colours and learning how to use them.

Art prizes

Standing on one leg classes